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Sunday, February 22, 2009

Live-apart Lovers,

COULD SLEEPING UNDER DIFFERENT ROOFS BE THE SECRET TO A TRULY HAPPY, LASTING RELATIONSHIP?

Typically, it's certain types of couples who live apart. In today's society, people don't feel pressured to abide by traditional relationship set-ups. LAT is defined by " Living Apart Together" having separate addresses, being monogamous in nature and having more than a casual relationship.
The common group of LATs are couples in their 20s and 30s who feel that living with a partner wouldn't allow them to maintain their own space and identity and feel that living separately was convenient. Living apart means they spend quality time together. Consequently, many LATs claim living separately keeps the spark in their relationship because it's unrealistic for the relationship to remain in the fairytale phase. Living together forces partners to navigate the ups and downs of everyday issues. Living apart could mean you're afraid of being truly intimate.
LATs are better at negotiating relationship problems than those who live together and are usually more upfront with each others. They also have a better sex life and are less likely to have affairs.
Are there downsides? Yes, there are financial and environmental costs of running two homes, problems can occur if you're raising children. If one parent ends up being the primary carer, it can cause resentment. Also, if children don't see their parents negotiating daily duties, they may miss out on essential relationship skills. Finally, there is no relationship structure that we can guarantee will work because a relationship needs love, friendship, intimacy and flexibility. If it has all those, does it matter whether the couple lives under the same roof?

Tips : How to LAT successfully?
  • SET RULES. Work out how often you'll see each other.
  • CREATE BOUNDARIES. Will your relationship be monogamous or not?
  • KEEP TALKING. Check that you're both happy with the situation every few months.

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Sydney, NSW, Australia